Aunty Cookie - How To Look Like You’ve Got Sh*t Together
12th September, 2011
We are SO EXCITED to welcome Shannon Lamden aka Aunty Cookie to the Guest Blog! Shannon's blog is hilariously honest and covers all the essentials- her kids, her work, the dog and anything else that comes to mind really! Shannon is sharing her tips all week on "How to look like you've got sh*t together" and has kindly offered 2 of her ace lap quilts up as a giveaway- leave a comment before 10pm on Thursday to be in the draw! -Jenny x
If it were up to me I'd have a Nanny. I'd also have a personal email responder to idiotic emails. Someone who folds the dry clothes and someone who cleans out food scraps from the sink. The Nanny would do the school drops offs and then she’d maybe do a little reading with the older kid and that’s probably it. The rest I could do on my own. I'd pay her in biscuits and slice. Her name would be Juanita like my favourite Young Talent Time member. She would have some crazy accent that would make her say clazy not crazy.
Domestic Goddess Cookie, Sadie chopping tomatoes while wearing goggles and most days with Harriet.
My email responder would have a name like Rick. And I'd be all "don’t mess with Rick dude, he’s not in the mood". And his main skill would be to answer emails quickly without getting irritated. Rick would wear trakkies cos he knows its all about comfort and he wouldn’t drink coffee just in case I inhaled the caffeine and had a conniption. Rick could sometimes fold the clothes if he was getting a little crampy in the hands from speed typing.
Tea and biscuits, the kids cooking, home sweet home and hookey keys and crap.
Mandy is my real life cleaner. And yes, I do want to marry her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She folds the kid’s clothes so neatly they know it hasn’t been done by me. She once even folded our dirty clothes. That was odd but I praise her commitment to the job. Mandy made me believe outsourcing makes you a better person. A happier person. That’s why I want Juanita and Rick in my life. To complete the circle of happiness. Because seriously all I do is drop kids places, clean up and email. And it’s boring.
- Shannon aka Aunty Cookie!
I just love Aunty Cookie…her blog is totally hilarious!!! Love this little giveaway too :)
Aunty Cookie is a breath of fresh air – honest, witty and inspiring. I love her blog so much, it totally justifies neglecting my own children to pore over it. I could compensate for this with a glorious lap quilt in which to bundle them up and snuggle with them. (My teenager might find that a bit awkward but I’d give it a go anyway…) x
OMG, thank you! Hilarious and gorgeous honesty.
Pics are super.
Totally relate!
Beautiful giveaway, I can picture MANY nights on the couch under one of these delights!
So funny and so clever!
Totally love your work Aunty Cookie! I have 8 month old daughter and haven’t slept more than four hours in a row since Easter. I can no longer really form sentences and it’s quite possible my girl will be affected by the fact that I read your blog on my phone while I breastfeed…hoping the radioactivity is counteracted by organic rice cereal & apple I’m feeding her as I also type this and it’s just dawned on me that I really need to get my shit together – I just ate pizza and lemon slice for brekkie washed down with bucket of tea and I have 6 half made quilts in my house. I eagerly await your tips!
Love the blocks of boldness! Very clever indeed.
I’d love one of your gorgeous lap quilts – I love the fabrics, the style and the colours. Thanks for being you :)
It’s gonna be a good week on the Design Files! Looking forward to more Aunty Cookie.
looking forward to this weeks guest blog! love the quilts
Love your work, love the blog, love the quilt!
i have such fantasies as having a cleaner, gardener and cook… i sometimes feel if i wish hard enough they will materialise… until that time, i am off to do the dishes and laundry… xxx
oh yes, can I also outsource cooking, worrying and deciding-what-to-wear?
fingers and toes crossed for those gorgeous quilts!
x
How have I not known about aunty cookie earlier!!?
Too good. Just too good. When I grow up I want to be just like her!
Oh I have longed for one of these quilts… Love, love, love Aunty Cookie. My fingers + toes are crossed!!!
Superb stuff – straight talking and inspirational!
I definitely need Juanita and Mandy!!! I am not as popular as you Aunty Cookie so I don’t need Rick! Always funny! X
What a legend….have been a fan of hers for ages!!!!!!!
Wait… we have to fold clothes? Ugh!!!
Lets all take a leaf out of Auntie Cookies book and tell it how it is, with a genuine smile on our faces! Her work highlights the richness of life in the simplest form. I have a little shop in Beechworth In North East Vic and one of my artists uses your gorgeous prints on their T’s which recieve the most fabulous feedback! Keep creating amongst the chaos!
Congratulations Aunty Cookie for getting some of the recognition you deserve. I love that your blog always seems as if you’re having a conversation with me. None of this tight arse, “aren’t I fabulous” speak that you usually get on other blogs! Yes, I have some of your fabric that screams “Do something with me!”; so getting something that’s already complete would be so much better!
Love the key holder. Great idea!
How refreshing!
Fun!
Great blog. Totally love the lap quilts! Fab little giveaway!! :)
yes, an email responder would be great! so funny and true. and those lap quilts are gorgeous. that’s one thing that wouldn’t need to be folded. they would look lovely just strewn about and you could possibly hide some of the real folding under them. x
With a touch of humour and imagination the ordinary tasks are lightened with Shannons beautifully written words!
Love the blog. My fav post was on ‘non sleeping baby fuckery’! I stole that expression. Love the quilts too, I’ll take one please??!!
LOL I dont even have kids yet and i want a Mandy in my life! Would also love a gorgeous quilt ?(Please) :)
I woud also add a personal trainer named Carlos to my wish list.
Wicked-generous giveaway. If I won I should give it to the lady next door who’s knocked up, but I’d keep it for me. I’m selfish like that. I also hoard quilts and bed linen, so it’s pretty much a medical condition that prevents me from sharing.
Have followed this chick for such a long time that I feel I know her. I was reading her blog entries to my sister while she was driving home from a night in Kyneton last weekend. We had a good laugh.
Love Aunty Cookies blog and love those beautiful quilts. Wishing hard!
Your words say it all. We all need you in our lives. Pick me – love those quilts. I even think quilt is one of my favorite words.
Shannon rocks, her blog is ace it makes me smile without fail, funny chick and so talented! rocks my design world :)
Perfect lap rug for a sunday afternoon cuppa on the couch!
such honesty makes me feel better about my own multi tasking as an artist and mum of four, and I should really do everyone a favour and get a cleaner myself… and I am typing with one hand and breastfeeding to boot, thanks :)
Lovely quilts. Cheers to a fellow post baby Tetley decaf tea drinker….I share your pain.
Us stay at home mums all need a wife, to do all those shitty, boring jobs we don’t want to do cause were too busy crafting!
so funny, so talented. well done!
You’re awesome, Aunty Cookie! Nice to have someone keeping it real and still creating amazing, wonderful things!
Hilarious! Can’t believe I hadn’t seen her blog before! I’m off to read the rest of the archives now. Great giveaway, too. I would love to win. x
I almost spat out my coffee in laughter… hilarious!
thanks for the fun and funny start to the week! I love those fabrics on the quilts!
Hilarious and entertaining, and the quilts look fabulous!
I hear you loud and clear Aunty Cookie..! Please send Juanita and Rick to my place when they’ve finished at yours.
Shannon, you’re a super mum, your shit is well and truly together!
Beautiful work.
No need to beat around the bush, just hand over the quilt Landem!
And stop calling me Juanita willya!
Juanita? How come I don’t remember her from Young Talent Time? When was she on? I have pretty good recollection from Tiny Tina Arena right through to the Bevan era, but Juanita is drawing a blank…..
Loooooooove the blog!! I want the quilt!!! It’s fabulouso!!!
You make me laugh!
Love it! Off to visit Aunty Cookie blog right away
You are FABULOUS!! Thanks for adding a smile to the end of my day :)
I wish I had an Auntie Cookie… xo
More Auntie Cookie-great!! A bresh of fresh air, I love your honesty and wit-honestly I do. Also love your textiles-yippeee!
You made me laugh! I have always wanted someone to turn the lights off for me once I get into bed and have inevitably forgot to turn them off!
Love the photos and thanks for the inspiration.
I hear ya sister.
Great post! Lovely thoughts and even lovelier photos.
Seems to me you do a GREAT deal more than take kids places, email and clean-up; judging by the prodigious creative output (not that parenting isn’t most creative mind)! But I know what you mean.
god i dont even have children and i feel the same way… that does not bode well for my future. I may need an army of outsourcing.
Love your designs and style Aunty Cookie. Agree with you Lucy, we need to read this gear in ‘liestyle’ columns for people to lighten up a bit and get real with insightful perspective.
After the morning from hell, I took five minutes out and read this…. I ended up snorting coffee onto my computer moniter… worth it though (just one more thing for me who is also ‘sans cleaner’ to clean, very funny and made my day!
Just what I needed a good laugh. Shes one funny girl .And she makes such cool quilts too.
M x
I love a good dose of reality in blogland. Sometimes it’s just all too perfect. Aunty Cookie is a blast :)
Tell it how it is. TOO FUNNY and I can relate to most of what Shannon writes. Love !!
So hilarious. Love Aunty C!
great we get aunty for 5 whole days in a row,awesome !!
I love Aunty Cookie fabrics. I’d be a very greatful winner!
Love your work Aunty Cookie – always makes me laugh
Gorgeous quilts! How can you give them away!! thank you
Dear Aunty Cookie,,
Bless your cotton socks. I feel relatively normal as a ‘parent’ now reading your blog. I desire one of those quilts because I ain’t no Aunty Cookie and couldn’t even work out to even make one of those blissfully beautiful things!
Best wishes,
Love your blog!! It’s hilarious, makes me feel a bit normal – have decided that i need a cleaner to organise my life – well they probably won’t organise it – but I’d feel more organised if someone else did the cleaning for me! At least it would actually get done. My washing never gets folded and put away – so depressing – we just have a laundry basket full of socks and undies and a laundry basket for my husband and I and 1 each for the kids. one day i’ll get through my mountain of laundry – I hope. BTW, your quilt is beautiful and would look gorgeous on my couch!
I follow Aunty Cookie as part of a well balanced blog diet. A nice bit of realism in amongst all the faux perfection! Also because I like to feel normal! She’s ace!
fantastic giveaway! would love to win such a gorgeus prize!
love it,would love to win this gorgeous prize!
Priceless. Rick the trackie-dak-wearing-email-setchatary! xx
Teehee. We could all do with a Rick.
You and your blog make me laugh!
Funny and talented! Love your work
I think I need Juanita and Rick to come to my house too… the lounge room looks like a frat house and the inbox is shamefully clogged with messages I can’t be fagged replying to!!
Cooookkiieee!
I had a cleaner once but she was rubbish. And I work from home so she would chat to me. More chatting than cleaning actually. She wasn’t any good at cleaning and she wasn’t very interesting with the chatter. I need your cleaner. And the quilt. Cheers x
I want to snuggle under that quilt while someone cleans and cooks for me too!
Oh, I wish I had my sh*t together enough to organise a cleaner… oh well, until then, I can try folding my dirty laundry to see if that makes me feel better!
Come on I’m giving every one of your give aways a go. This I the one I really want to win
Love it
I’m hearing ya! If you find Juanita and she has a cousin, send her over to my place.
Fantastic – brings back memories and so glad i can laugh about it now! And I would love the quilt!
The perfect life… even without Juanita xx
Juanita is welcome here too.
Hilarious and talented!
Always loved all of Aunty Cookie’s stuff.
Aunt Cookie is too cool for school :)
Yep, another fan here.
Definitely a laundry folder and put awayer………I hate making dinner and cleaning up, so someone for that. Dishes suck, but I got a portable dishwasher so I can handle it….oh and someone to make the school lunches. That would be good. I can do the rest. Oh wait..the paper clutter and gobs of fimo and hairbands and the marker with the lid off and the tape and the dvd’s without cases and the very special rocks…someone to put those away would be handy dandy.
oh that’s clazy, clazy,clazy!,and very funny. And i am pretty sure all mums can relate. My husband is a Rick, however, he does not answer my emails.;(
now i don’t know if someone can clarify this?. But i heard a rumour, urban myth if you will, that Juanita( of YTT fame) died?. how sad is that?. Used to love that show when i was a kid.
yes I did read and I did laugh… its all so true i’m sure every Mum can relate to some part at least!!!!
and you still manage to create so much loveliness
Loved reading this – too funny!!
Ok… I’m addicted… and will be sending this to all my mummy friends… so they also benefit from the addictive nature of this blog. Go Aunty Cookie Go!
oh please, can we job-share mandy & juanita?? rick, i don’t need so much. sorry rick.
mmm….outsourcing. Now that is a brilliant idea! I wonder if I could outsource driving the kids back and forth and the worry wart within me. The worry wart can handle all my worries just like a Guatemalan worry doll, leaving me free to think more productively without the interruption of worries.
hilarious! thanks for the frankness aunty cookie!
Freakin loving these posts – as I do The Aunty Cookie blog! Brilliant and so refreshing. I am not a mother and this still makes me laugh.
oh. there is no- one on staff to clean fluff from the dryer, or replace those BLOODY CARDBOARD EMPTIES that lie in wait for me in all the bathrooms!
I’m hearing you on the non sleeping nine month old! But wish I had some beautiful creative talent like auntie cookie…
I probably need more than 3 on my staff! Oh well, we can dream!
Yay :) Loving the idea of a groovy givaway :) Me please :)
Big fan of Aunty Cookie – both the blog and Shannon’s gorgeous Etsy pieces- have a small collection adorning our abode. Looking forward to reading more of Shannon’s posts.
Rick and Juanita better be coming over to my place pdq. Yup, Shannon, I feel your pain.Three kids, 8 chooks, a cat a dog and a hubby…….surely a quilt would help ease the way into the evening. A quilt and a neverending bottle of red wine that is called “Beth’s vintage so BACK AWAY PEOPLE!’