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Aunty Cookie – How To Look Like You’ve Got Sh*t Together

by Jenny Butler
Monday 12th September 2011

We are SO EXCITED to welcome Shannon Lamden aka Aunty Cookie to the Guest Blog! Shannon’s blog is hilariously honest and covers all the essentials- her kids, her work, the dog and anything else that comes to mind really! Shannon is sharing her tips all week on “How to look like you’ve got sh*t together” and has kindly offered 2 of her ace lap quilts up as a giveaway- leave a comment before 10pm on Thursday to be in the draw! -Jenny x

If it were up to me I’d have a Nanny. I’d also have a personal email responder to idiotic emails. Someone who folds the dry clothes and someone who cleans out food scraps from the sink. The Nanny would do the school drops offs and then she’d maybe do a little reading with the older kid and that’s probably it. The rest I could do on my own. I’d pay her in biscuits and slice. Her name would be Juanita like my favourite Young Talent Time member. She would have some crazy accent that would make her say clazy not crazy.

Domestic Goddess Cookie, Sadie chopping tomatoes while wearing goggles and most days with Harriet.

My email responder would have a name like Rick. And I’d be all “don’t mess with Rick dude, he’s not in the mood“. And his main skill would be to answer emails quickly without getting irritated. Rick would wear trakkies cos he knows its all about comfort and he wouldn’t drink coffee just in case I inhaled the caffeine and had a conniption. Rick could sometimes fold the clothes if he was getting a little crampy in the hands from speed typing.

Tea and biscuits, the kids cooking, home sweet home and hookey keys and crap.

Mandy is my real life cleaner. And yes, I do want to marry her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She folds the kid’s clothes so neatly they know it hasn’t been done by me. She once even folded our dirty clothes. That was odd but I praise her commitment to the job. Mandy made me believe outsourcing makes you a better person. A happier person. That’s why I want Juanita and Rick in my life. To complete the circle of happiness. Because seriously all I do is drop kids places, clean up and email. And it’s boring.

Shannon aka Aunty Cookie!


by Jenny Butler
Monday 12th September 2011

110 comments

  • lamina @ do a bit 3 years ago

    I just love Aunty Cookie…her blog is totally hilarious!!! Love this little giveaway too :)

  • Erin 3 years ago

    Aunty Cookie is a breath of fresh air – honest, witty and inspiring. I love her blog so much, it totally justifies neglecting my own children to pore over it. I could compensate for this with a glorious lap quilt in which to bundle them up and snuggle with them. (My teenager might find that a bit awkward but I’d give it a go anyway…) x

  • Cathg1g2 3 years ago

    OMG, thank you! Hilarious and gorgeous honesty.
    Pics are super.
    Totally relate!

  • Bec 3 years ago

    Beautiful giveaway, I can picture MANY nights on the couch under one of these delights!

  • Sophie Keogh 3 years ago

    So funny and so clever!

  • Kate 3 years ago

    Totally love your work Aunty Cookie! I have 8 month old daughter and haven’t slept more than four hours in a row since Easter. I can no longer really form sentences and it’s quite possible my girl will be affected by the fact that I read your blog on my phone while I breastfeed…hoping the radioactivity is counteracted by organic rice cereal & apple I’m feeding her as I also type this and it’s just dawned on me that I really need to get my shit together – I just ate pizza and lemon slice for brekkie washed down with bucket of tea and I have 6 half made quilts in my house. I eagerly await your tips!

  • Jane 3 years ago

    Love the blocks of boldness! Very clever indeed.

  • AmandaT 3 years ago

    I’d love one of your gorgeous lap quilts – I love the fabrics, the style and the colours. Thanks for being you :)

  • Sama 3 years ago

    It’s gonna be a good week on the Design Files! Looking forward to more Aunty Cookie.

  • amanda 3 years ago

    looking forward to this weeks guest blog! love the quilts

  • Pippa 3 years ago

    Love your work, love the blog, love the quilt!

  • leah 3 years ago

    i have such fantasies as having a cleaner, gardener and cook… i sometimes feel if i wish hard enough they will materialise… until that time, i am off to do the dishes and laundry… xxx

  • Pepper 3 years ago

    oh yes, can I also outsource cooking, worrying and deciding-what-to-wear?
    fingers and toes crossed for those gorgeous quilts!
    x

  • Naomi 3 years ago

    How have I not known about aunty cookie earlier!!?
    Too good. Just too good. When I grow up I want to be just like her!

  • Olivia 3 years ago

    Oh I have longed for one of these quilts… Love, love, love Aunty Cookie. My fingers + toes are crossed!!!

  • Nadine 3 years ago

    Superb stuff – straight talking and inspirational!

  • Mary Anne pangilinan 3 years ago

    I definitely need Juanita and Mandy!!! I am not as popular as you Aunty Cookie so I don’t need Rick! Always funny! X

  • neddy 3 years ago

    What a legend….have been a fan of hers for ages!!!!!!!

  • Rie 3 years ago

    Wait… we have to fold clothes? Ugh!!!

  • jade miles 3 years ago

    Lets all take a leaf out of Auntie Cookies book and tell it how it is, with a genuine smile on our faces! Her work highlights the richness of life in the simplest form. I have a little shop in Beechworth In North East Vic and one of my artists uses your gorgeous prints on their T’s which recieve the most fabulous feedback! Keep creating amongst the chaos!

  • Dix 3 years ago

    Congratulations Aunty Cookie for getting some of the recognition you deserve. I love that your blog always seems as if you’re having a conversation with me. None of this tight arse, “aren’t I fabulous” speak that you usually get on other blogs! Yes, I have some of your fabric that screams “Do something with me!”; so getting something that’s already complete would be so much better!

  • Michelle 3 years ago

    Love the key holder. Great idea!

  • Jules Brooker 3 years ago

    How refreshing!

  • Rowena 3 years ago

    Fun!

  • Natalie Townsend 3 years ago

    Great blog. Totally love the lap quilts! Fab little giveaway!! :)

  • Sandra 3 years ago

    yes, an email responder would be great! so funny and true. and those lap quilts are gorgeous. that’s one thing that wouldn’t need to be folded. they would look lovely just strewn about and you could possibly hide some of the real folding under them. x

  • Em Hannaford 3 years ago

    With a touch of humour and imagination the ordinary tasks are lightened with Shannons beautifully written words!

  • Jane 3 years ago

    Love the blog. My fav post was on ‘non sleeping baby fuckery’! I stole that expression. Love the quilts too, I’ll take one please??!!

  • Kate 3 years ago

    LOL I dont even have kids yet and i want a Mandy in my life! Would also love a gorgeous quilt ?(Please) :)

  • Barbara 3 years ago

    I woud also add a personal trainer named Carlos to my wish list.

  • Clare 3 years ago

    Wicked-generous giveaway. If I won I should give it to the lady next door who’s knocked up, but I’d keep it for me. I’m selfish like that. I also hoard quilts and bed linen, so it’s pretty much a medical condition that prevents me from sharing.

  • Allison Taylor 3 years ago

    Have followed this chick for such a long time that I feel I know her. I was reading her blog entries to my sister while she was driving home from a night in Kyneton last weekend. We had a good laugh.

  • shelley darren 3 years ago

    Love Aunty Cookies blog and love those beautiful quilts. Wishing hard!

  • Judy 3 years ago

    Your words say it all. We all need you in our lives. Pick me – love those quilts. I even think quilt is one of my favorite words.

  • Samone 3 years ago

    Shannon rocks, her blog is ace it makes me smile without fail, funny chick and so talented! rocks my design world :)

  • Amber 3 years ago

    Perfect lap rug for a sunday afternoon cuppa on the couch!

  • jasmine 3 years ago

    such honesty makes me feel better about my own multi tasking as an artist and mum of four, and I should really do everyone a favour and get a cleaner myself… and I am typing with one hand and breastfeeding to boot, thanks :)

  • Kate 3 years ago

    Lovely quilts. Cheers to a fellow post baby Tetley decaf tea drinker….I share your pain.

  • Rebecca 3 years ago

    Us stay at home mums all need a wife, to do all those shitty, boring jobs we don’t want to do cause were too busy crafting!

  • Karen 3 years ago

    so funny, so talented. well done!

  • Niccola 3 years ago

    You’re awesome, Aunty Cookie! Nice to have someone keeping it real and still creating amazing, wonderful things!

  • Kelly 3 years ago

    Hilarious! Can’t believe I hadn’t seen her blog before! I’m off to read the rest of the archives now. Great giveaway, too. I would love to win. x

  • Rebecca 3 years ago

    I almost spat out my coffee in laughter… hilarious!

  • Grace 3 years ago

    thanks for the fun and funny start to the week! I love those fabrics on the quilts!

  • Marina 3 years ago

    Hilarious and entertaining, and the quilts look fabulous!

  • Penthea 3 years ago

    I hear you loud and clear Aunty Cookie..! Please send Juanita and Rick to my place when they’ve finished at yours.

  • Simone 3 years ago

    Shannon, you’re a super mum, your shit is well and truly together!
    Beautiful work.

  • anita 3 years ago

    No need to beat around the bush, just hand over the quilt Landem!
    And stop calling me Juanita willya!

  • Julie 3 years ago

    Juanita? How come I don’t remember her from Young Talent Time? When was she on? I have pretty good recollection from Tiny Tina Arena right through to the Bevan era, but Juanita is drawing a blank…..

  • Angela Ciavarella 3 years ago

    Loooooooove the blog!! I want the quilt!!! It’s fabulouso!!!

  • stella 3 years ago

    You make me laugh!

  • Love it! Off to visit Aunty Cookie blog right away

  • Laurie 3 years ago

    You are FABULOUS!! Thanks for adding a smile to the end of my day :)

  • Margie 3 years ago

    I wish I had an Auntie Cookie… xo

  • liz 3 years ago

    More Auntie Cookie-great!! A bresh of fresh air, I love your honesty and wit-honestly I do. Also love your textiles-yippeee!

  • Lauren 3 years ago

    You made me laugh! I have always wanted someone to turn the lights off for me once I get into bed and have inevitably forgot to turn them off!

  • Elaine Pendlebury 3 years ago

    Love the photos and thanks for the inspiration.

  • Zen 3 years ago

    I hear ya sister.

  • Nerida 3 years ago

    Great post! Lovely thoughts and even lovelier photos.

  • Camilla Cathro 3 years ago

    Seems to me you do a GREAT deal more than take kids places, email and clean-up; judging by the prodigious creative output (not that parenting isn’t most creative mind)! But I know what you mean.

  • Sarah Austin 3 years ago

    god i dont even have children and i feel the same way… that does not bode well for my future. I may need an army of outsourcing.

  • Jenny 3 years ago

    Love your designs and style Aunty Cookie. Agree with you Lucy, we need to read this gear in ‘liestyle’ columns for people to lighten up a bit and get real with insightful perspective.

  • Linley 3 years ago

    After the morning from hell, I took five minutes out and read this…. I ended up snorting coffee onto my computer moniter… worth it though (just one more thing for me who is also ‘sans cleaner’ to clean, very funny and made my day!

  • Michelle 3 years ago

    Just what I needed a good laugh. Shes one funny girl .And she makes such cool quilts too.
    M x

  • Sarah B 3 years ago

    I love a good dose of reality in blogland. Sometimes it’s just all too perfect. Aunty Cookie is a blast :)

  • Bianca 3 years ago

    Tell it how it is. TOO FUNNY and I can relate to most of what Shannon writes. Love !!

  • Alexandra Hanna 3 years ago

    So hilarious. Love Aunty C!

  • norma keyte 3 years ago

    great we get aunty for 5 whole days in a row,awesome !!

  • Katrina 3 years ago

    I love Aunty Cookie fabrics. I’d be a very greatful winner!

  • Kathy t 3 years ago

    Love your work Aunty Cookie – always makes me laugh

  • Robyn Simpson 3 years ago

    Gorgeous quilts! How can you give them away!! thank you

  • Amanda 3 years ago

    Dear Aunty Cookie,,
    Bless your cotton socks. I feel relatively normal as a ‘parent’ now reading your blog. I desire one of those quilts because I ain’t no Aunty Cookie and couldn’t even work out to even make one of those blissfully beautiful things!
    Best wishes,

  • marianna 3 years ago

    Love your blog!! It’s hilarious, makes me feel a bit normal – have decided that i need a cleaner to organise my life – well they probably won’t organise it – but I’d feel more organised if someone else did the cleaning for me! At least it would actually get done. My washing never gets folded and put away – so depressing – we just have a laundry basket full of socks and undies and a laundry basket for my husband and I and 1 each for the kids. one day i’ll get through my mountain of laundry – I hope. BTW, your quilt is beautiful and would look gorgeous on my couch!

  • Sam 3 years ago

    I follow Aunty Cookie as part of a well balanced blog diet. A nice bit of realism in amongst all the faux perfection! Also because I like to feel normal! She’s ace!

  • Lisa 3 years ago

    fantastic giveaway! would love to win such a gorgeus prize!

  • Lisa 3 years ago

    love it,would love to win this gorgeous prize!

  • Nicki L 3 years ago

    Priceless. Rick the trackie-dak-wearing-email-setchatary! xx

  • elissa c 3 years ago

    Teehee. We could all do with a Rick.

  • Sam 3 years ago

    You and your blog make me laugh!

  • Sue 3 years ago

    Funny and talented! Love your work

  • Susan 3 years ago

    I think I need Juanita and Rick to come to my house too… the lounge room looks like a frat house and the inbox is shamefully clogged with messages I can’t be fagged replying to!!

  • Liz 3 years ago

    Cooookkiieee!

  • dawn machell 3 years ago

    I had a cleaner once but she was rubbish. And I work from home so she would chat to me. More chatting than cleaning actually. She wasn’t any good at cleaning and she wasn’t very interesting with the chatter. I need your cleaner. And the quilt. Cheers x

  • laura 3 years ago

    I want to snuggle under that quilt while someone cleans and cooks for me too!

  • Catherine 3 years ago

    Oh, I wish I had my sh*t together enough to organise a cleaner… oh well, until then, I can try folding my dirty laundry to see if that makes me feel better!

  • Alison 3 years ago

    Come on I’m giving every one of your give aways a go. This I the one I really want to win

  • Megan 3 years ago

    Love it

  • Courtney 3 years ago

    I’m hearing ya! If you find Juanita and she has a cousin, send her over to my place.

  • Sarah s 3 years ago

    Fantastic – brings back memories and so glad i can laugh about it now! And I would love the quilt!

  • Jen 3 years ago

    The perfect life… even without Juanita xx

  • Vicki B 3 years ago

    Juanita is welcome here too.

  • Liz 3 years ago

    Hilarious and talented!

  • E-Gene 3 years ago

    Always loved all of Aunty Cookie’s stuff.

  • Megan Kay 3 years ago

    Aunt Cookie is too cool for school :)

  • Jane 3 years ago

    Yep, another fan here.

  • Kris 3 years ago

    Definitely a laundry folder and put awayer………I hate making dinner and cleaning up, so someone for that. Dishes suck, but I got a portable dishwasher so I can handle it….oh and someone to make the school lunches. That would be good. I can do the rest. Oh wait..the paper clutter and gobs of fimo and hairbands and the marker with the lid off and the tape and the dvd’s without cases and the very special rocks…someone to put those away would be handy dandy.

  • Jules 3 years ago

    oh that’s clazy, clazy,clazy!,and very funny. And i am pretty sure all mums can relate. My husband is a Rick, however, he does not answer my emails.;(
    now i don’t know if someone can clarify this?. But i heard a rumour, urban myth if you will, that Juanita( of YTT fame) died?. how sad is that?. Used to love that show when i was a kid.

  • hannah 3 years ago

    yes I did read and I did laugh… its all so true i’m sure every Mum can relate to some part at least!!!!
    and you still manage to create so much loveliness

  • Kirsten N 3 years ago

    Loved reading this – too funny!!

  • Jo 3 years ago

    Ok… I’m addicted… and will be sending this to all my mummy friends… so they also benefit from the addictive nature of this blog. Go Aunty Cookie Go!

  • captain kk 3 years ago

    oh please, can we job-share mandy & juanita?? rick, i don’t need so much. sorry rick.

  • Kat 3 years ago

    mmm….outsourcing. Now that is a brilliant idea! I wonder if I could outsource driving the kids back and forth and the worry wart within me. The worry wart can handle all my worries just like a Guatemalan worry doll, leaving me free to think more productively without the interruption of worries.

  • carla mcglynn 3 years ago

    hilarious! thanks for the frankness aunty cookie!

  • Leslie 3 years ago

    Freakin loving these posts – as I do The Aunty Cookie blog! Brilliant and so refreshing. I am not a mother and this still makes me laugh.

  • rob 3 years ago

    oh. there is no- one on staff to clean fluff from the dryer, or replace those BLOODY CARDBOARD EMPTIES that lie in wait for me in all the bathrooms!

  • Mel 3 years ago

    I’m hearing you on the non sleeping nine month old! But wish I had some beautiful creative talent like auntie cookie…

  • Brad 3 years ago

    I probably need more than 3 on my staff! Oh well, we can dream!

  • Kathleen Pearce 3 years ago

    Yay :) Loving the idea of a groovy givaway :) Me please :)

  • Tracy 3 years ago

    Big fan of Aunty Cookie – both the blog and Shannon’s gorgeous Etsy pieces- have a small collection adorning our abode. Looking forward to reading more of Shannon’s posts.

  • Beth 3 years ago

    Rick and Juanita better be coming over to my place pdq. Yup, Shannon, I feel your pain.Three kids, 8 chooks, a cat a dog and a hubby…….surely a quilt would help ease the way into the evening. A quilt and a neverending bottle of red wine that is called “Beth’s vintage so BACK AWAY PEOPLE!’

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