We are SO EXCITED to welcome Shannon Lamden aka Aunty Cookie to the Guest Blog! Shannon’s blog is hilariously honest and covers all the essentials- her kids, her work, the dog and anything else that comes to mind really! Shannon is sharing her tips all week on “How to look like you’ve got sh*t together” and has kindly offered 2 of her ace lap quilts up as a giveaway- leave a comment before 10pm on Thursday to be in the draw! -Jenny x

If it were up to me I’d have a Nanny. I’d also have a personal email responder to idiotic emails. Someone who folds the dry clothes and someone who cleans out food scraps from the sink. The Nanny would do the school drops offs and then she’d maybe do a little reading with the older kid and that’s probably it. The rest I could do on my own. I’d pay her in biscuits and slice. Her name would be Juanita like my favourite Young Talent Time member. She would have some crazy accent that would make her say clazy not crazy.

Domestic Goddess Cookie, Sadie chopping tomatoes while wearing goggles and most days with Harriet.

My email responder would have a name like Rick. And I’d be all “don’t mess with Rick dude, he’s not in the mood“. And his main skill would be to answer emails quickly without getting irritated. Rick would wear trakkies cos he knows its all about comfort and he wouldn’t drink coffee just in case I inhaled the caffeine and had a conniption. Rick could sometimes fold the clothes if he was getting a little crampy in the hands from speed typing.

Tea and biscuits, the kids cooking, home sweet home and hookey keys and crap.

Mandy is my real life cleaner. And yes, I do want to marry her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She folds the kid’s clothes so neatly they know it hasn’t been done by me. She once even folded our dirty clothes. That was odd but I praise her commitment to the job. Mandy made me believe outsourcing makes you a better person. A happier person. That’s why I want Juanita and Rick in my life. To complete the circle of happiness. Because seriously all I do is drop kids places, clean up and email. And it’s boring.

- Shannon aka Aunty Cookie!